A Quest

So last week I made a pretty hefty decision! I have started a new quest. My quest is to love myself inside and out as much as my husband does.
To feel as sexy as he sees me. To not question why he loves me. I want to feel the way he sees me. I don't want to have any regrets. I want to live my life to the fullest. Experience all that I can.
Step 1 - Love my body ~ I weighed and measured my self. No lies I am 5'2" and 157lbs. I'm learning to accept it. To not complain about it. If I'm not going to actively change the # on the scale then I'm going to learn to love my body the way it is. Imperfect. Overweight. Flat in places it shouldn't be. Extra in places the "perfect" body doesn't have. I am a Mommy and it shows. I am bigger then the rest of my siblings. I was built that way. I was born with curves and I intend to keep them! I have dry hands. I get zits when mother nature comes knocking. My fingernails are all different lengths and I'm OK with that. I don't usually get a shower everyday because I'm usually too busy goofing off with my kids! I'm loving my body because although it may not look to the world as they would perceive the "perfect" body should, It's mine!
Step 2 - Have no regrets ~ I admittedly have a lot of regrets about my past. However, I am coming to realize there's nothing I can do about it because it's the past and well...you simply can't change the past. So let's move forward with life. I have always regretted the fact that I botched my chamber singer's audition (for those of you who don't know what that is...Chamber singers is the top vocal group at Walla Walla High School. All of my siblings were in it. I tried out but didn't take it seriously, made some pretty dumb moves, and as a result didn't make the cut.) So to move forward with life I, last Saturday, went up to the Tacoma Rainier's Pre-Season party and auditioned to sing the national anthem at one of their games. I haven't heard either way but I did the best I could. I practiced for days, all day every day. I sang when Isaac told me to stop, I sang in the shower, I sang while I made dinner, did dishes, did the laundry, in the car...anywhere and everywhere! I went, I almost chickened out but I sang. Now...I wait. An update to follow
Step 3 - Accept my faults ~ There are always dirty dishes in my sink, Laundry that needs to be folded, floors that need to be swept, mopped or vacuumed. Bathrooms that could probably be cleaned and beds that could be made. My house is in a constant state of disaster....but my kids are happy. If I were to take a picture right now, there would be a couch overflowing with clothes that need to be folded and put away, laundry hampers full with clothes that need to be washed, and toys all over the floor...But my kids would be smiling, laughing, or some other state of pure childhood joy! They have so many clothes that I am constantly donating some. They are loved so much that one of Isaac's first words were "Luh Loo" aka Love you. Gary smiles when we tell him we love him. They know who there parents are. They know that if they need something they can ask and we stop what were doing and help them. Nothing is more important then they are. Dishes can wait, Floors will be dirty, they laundry will be there tomorrow. They are only little for so long. I may not be the best "Homemaker" but I am a dang good mom and wife. My family always has something to eat. My kids always have diapers and clothes. My husband Loves me, desires me, and provides for me and our family.
Step 4 - Step out ~ I am a shy person. I don't like calling people out side my social circle (and by social circle I mean anyone who isn't my husband, sisters, brother, mom or dad.) It makes me nervous and I literally have to work up the guts to do it. Our calling (ward PFR) has helped some. It requires me to call people I may not talk to except for every 9 months when I call them to enlist their help cleaning the church building. I am trying to get my PartyLite Candle business going to earn a little extra money. That requires calling people and asking them to host parties for a product they either 1 have never heard of or 2 love but can't afford (it is admittedly kind of expensive). It gets a lot of rejections, and that hurts, but I'm trying to not let that stop me. I'm trying to realize and learn that most people don't judge me the way I think they do.
That's where I'm starting. I have no deadline. I will take as long as I need. This is my quest to Love everything there is love about me. Love me the way my family does. To stop being so critical and accept my new body. To Love ME the way my Father in Heaven does, Perfectly!

2 Weeks!

Greg has been working 2 jobs. Mon-Fri 12pm-830pm at State Farm and then Fri and Sat Night 11pm-7am at a Hotel in Lacey. He just got a raise at State Farm so we attempted to live this month (March) on just his State Farm check and passed with flying colors so this morning Greg went down to the hotel and gave his 2 weeks notice to Mark (His boss....obviously). Mark was very understanding and told him that he had just been thinking that Greg had been there long enough, not that Mark was going to fire him, but just had a feeling that if Greg were to come in that it would be OK. Greg just explained to Mark that it was just the right time for our family and it wasn't a necessity anymore. We need to have more family time and this is the only way to get that. Mark told him he would find someone with in the 2 weeks, and if before he would definitely let Greg know! Now the fun part! Greg was telling mark of some of the trips we had planed this year and asked if he could get a friends and family discount card for the hotels we would be staying at and Mark said "Oh Greg! You guys will always be friends and family!" Anytime you need one just call!" Greg has been lucky to have such an amazing boss like Mark. He's always been accommodating of Greg's needs, and sometimes wants. I'm so glad that it went smoothly and that Mark was so understanding!

A little something on service

Wednesday night I had my P.F.R. meeting for church (Personal Facility Rep aka Building Cleaning coordinating). I was the only female there and the youngest by at least 10-15 years. It seemed that everyone there had something to say about the lack of support they get in trying to get people to help clean the church and then because of that, it takes them forever to get the building clean. While I have some people that aren't exactly subtle in coming up with excuses as to why they can't help. Most of our members are willing to help out. And if, for some reason they can't, they're pretty good about asking to be called next time. I got caught up in the negativity and procrastinated calling people till Friday...and we clean Saturday morning. Well I finally screwed up my courage got out my rotation list and started calling. I'm leaving messages and letting people know that we have the 14th, 21st, and 28th. I did get a hold of some people and while they were hesitant, they agreed to a week and in an hour I had several people assigned to a week. But still not enough for Saturday (the 14th) I decided to wait and see if people would call back from messages I left on answering machines. and sure enough, by then end of the day I had 3 families, which would ensure me at least 6 adults and possible 2-3 kids old enough to help out.
Saturday morning Greg gets everything set up, I drop the kids off at Becky's and head over to the church. We finish getting everything ready and wait for people to come. We tell people to be there by 815am. We have to start that early because a lot of times the missionaries will be doing a baptism at 10 so we like to be done before then. About 830 people start showing up and I get them a job to do and we get to it. That was one of the best group of workers we had! No one complained and when they finished one job, they came and asked if there was anything else to do! Even the primary aged kids would come ask for another job! We finished cleaning by 930!
It just amazed me how with a little effort, a job that, let's face it, nobody likes doing, can be done so quickly. I felt so blessed to have a ward family that will come and support us in our calling! So Thanks everyone for being so supportive. Even at 815 on a Saturday morning!

A Day Ahead

Apparently when I moved my clocks ahead an hour my brain moved a day ahead and it's driving me nuts!!!! Not in the way where you wake up thinking it's Friday only to get your dreams smashed because it's really only Thursday. I'm talking about the fact that, I had a meeting at the church last night at 7 (We are the ward building cleaning coordinators), so I dropped the boys off at my mother-in-law, Becky's, and went to the church only to find out that when i got there the only meetings there were the Stake Relief society and my father-in-laws Sunday School presidency meeting...oh and some basketball players. I wandered around and looked in all the classrooms for 10 mins before i gave up and asked someone if they knew where they were. Luckily someone had an email on their blackberry that said it was Wednesday the 11th at 7. GREAT!!!!!!! (she said VERY sarcastically) so I went and got the boys, hung out with Becky for a while and then came home!
A sunshiny part in all this rain is that when Greg got home at 9pm he stayed home so that I could go grocery shopping...by my self!!!! So I drove up to Wal-mart and got 2 new shirts, a pair of pants and some new jammies for the boys. Plus Grocery's. It was Fabulous and when I got home I told him that was how I was going to grocery shop from now on!! At night by my self!
So this morning, at 840, Isaac had his 2 yr check up. So after stupidly staying up till 130 goofing off on my computer i got up at 730 and got Isaac up and we got ready. I made Gary a bottle, changed his pants and took him into Greg. Isaac and I headed off to the Dr. He ate a PB&J in the car for breakfast and when we got there...SURPRISE!! His Dr. appointment isn't till tomorrow!! DANG IT!!!!
So I decided to make lemonade, Literally and figuratively. I'm taking out all this "Day ahead" frustration and CLEANING my living room!!! Which includes unpacking from my week at moms, Laundry, and the clutter that we're trying to get rid of!!!
AND SHE'S OFF!!!!

Happy Birthday Little Man

Today is Isaac's 2nd Birthday and it's snowing! We don't have a whole lot planned as his party is Saturday so his Cousins Makayla, Lilly and Alex can come down from Maple Vally. I just spent a week at my moms where we had a combined party for Isaac who, at the time, was turning 2 and Dylan who was turning 1. It was a Tonka/John Deer themed party. I will post pics later in the mean time i just wanted to wish our little man Isaac Happy 2nd Birthday!!

I'm Back

Sorry it seemed I fell of the face of the earth for a while there but I kinna did. My computer got tired because I thought it was bigger then it actually was so I crammed a whole bunch of stuff on it. My bother-in-law cleaned it off for me and i'm back in business. So here's an update on life since my last posting which was my surgery...
Everything went fine, I healed up nice and quick so I could get back to my life as a mom and wife. I'm still selling PartyLite and love it.
Gary is growing so fast I can hardly keep up with what size he's in. He'll be 8 months on the 15th and only 5lbs behind Isaac. He's army crawling everywhere and is anxious to get up on his knees. I know this because he keeps trying. He is my screamer, if he's talking he's screaming, and i mean ear piercing, brain rattling scream.
Isaac will be 2 on Monday the 9th and can count pretty well. He knows 3-4-5...7-8-9...12-13. He can repeat them back if you count with him clear to 20. And repeats all of his ABC's. He's very in to monster trucks and tractors and all things boy related.
Greg is still with state farm and is confidant that the all the lay offs everywhere will not effect him. He is quitting his hotel job next month and we're planning lots of weekend family vacations to celebrate.
Thats it for the homefront! Hope all is well with all of you!