Self Defense

Today was Isaac's last day of pre-school! It was very bittersweet and I have been a hidden emotional roller coaster all day.

On our way home Gary says to Isaac the following;

"Isaac, you don't know how to fight bears do you? No. But I do. So when we get home Mom is going to drop us off in the jungle so that we can find a bear so that I can teach you how to fight a bear. First I'm going to jump on it's back and then I'm going to smack it on it's booty. Then it's going to fall in the water. Then I need you to help me sit on it under the water so that all the water goes up it's nose, cuz bears can't hold their noses, their claws are too pokey. yah. So when we get home I'll find a bear and teach you. M'K?!"
Isaac - "Gary. I don't want to fight a bear."
Gary - "But if I don't teach you how to fight a bear then you'll die!!"

Isaac - "Gary. Please be quiet. I want the car to be peaceful."
Gary - "*sigh* ok.....*sigh*"